156. Absence makes the heart forgets....

I was trying to keep my feelings at bay. But when the invitation landed on my email, I couldn't control it anymore. The family that I thought I belonged to seem to have forgotten that I still do exist. Before writing it down here, I deliberated whether I have the right to be upset or not. And my conclusion remains, yes I have. During my years of working back home, I tried to be good to them. I tried to give them what they needed. The obvious need not be mentioned here. And this time, when I thought I should be part of their big day, I am conveniently forgotten. The worst part is, the newfound family seem to take center stage...I just hope she's really happy...and that the happiness should last.

155. Sickness

I am not a sickly person. At the most, I'd fall ill once in a year due to colds...that's all. But this year, I have been falling sick quite often. I have been sick almost every month and it puzzles me. This time, my daughter too fell ill immediately after me. We were both tired lying on the bed when it occurred to me how lucky am I to have someone to take care of us when I cannot do my regular duty as a wife and mother. My husband has been taking care of our every need from the time I feel ill last week till today. I thank God for His good health and I thank God for his generosity of time and self.

154. Bad Luck

Bad luck happens to anybody...today, its me! Well, rotten bad luck has been affecting me when it comes to my work with IFMR. It didn't help that my last work was not taken well. I cannot please everyone, and I don't intend to. Enough is enough and I just want to forget this happened. 

153. Sancho Emmanuel Tibayan - Ramos

The day is a day of thanksgiving for our family as our newest member is born. Sancho Emmanuel, my nephew. Born after years and years of waiting, SAM as he will be known fondly is named after my late father and the Tita Emma, the mother of my brother-in-law. It was, for me, a day of excitement and anxiety as I want just want him to come out healthy and that my sister should not have any difficulty. At first, I could not express my happiness as I want to know if both of them are doing well. Only when I was told that they are both out of danger did I feel the excitement of welcoming SAM into our family. 

152. Judging another writer...a group of writers!

I was invited to be one of the judges on the regional essay writing competition for ICSE Schools. I was quite excited to see what these young writers have to offer. Cold they be better than writers of my generation, or even the generation ahead. There were about 28 participants and I realized how amazing these young people are, in terms of their ideas and the way they present them in writing. I would say 300% better than most journalists in my generation. The influx of information has done a great deal of help and support for them and it is clearly visible in the facts that they put in to their writing given the short time limit during the competition.

151. Papa Smurf

Fathers will be more than willing to sacrifice their lives for their loved-ones. This is what was displayed by Papa Smurf in the movie we saw today. I was reminded of how my dad had to sacrificed being away from us and from his own country to earn dollars for his family. At a young age, I was unaware of all his pains and sufferings living in the dessert of Saudi just to provide for our education. But now, I fully understand and appreciate what all he did for us. I would never have reached this stage if he did not do what he did. Papa Smurf reminded me of my Dad and it also brings me to realization of how my hubby works hard to earn for his family. I guess no father can be father from what Papa Smurf is in the movie.

150. In support of my better half...

In the last few weeks, I should have been more supportive of my husband...which I am clearly not. Not knowing the culture, I have not been very much of a wife to him lately. I feel guilty but then who is to blame. Should I have been more receptive to what was coming when my mother-in-law fell ill and eventually died? It pains me to see my husband suffer emotionally, and it pains me more when I know I did not do my part to share that pain with him. Nothing beats my love and respect for my husband, the fact that I am here in a country completely unknown to me is a testimony to that. I wish I could be more supportive of him and more understanding of what is going on right now. I am his wife and his better half, I feel what he feels...I love you Dad!

149. Why worry when you can pray...

Some years ago, I received what I thought was a very special gift from a special friend....it was a decorative paperweight in stone with a powerful message, it says: "Why worry when you can pray!" I came to live with that mantra. When I am in difficult situation, I calm myself and pray with the belief that prayer answers all of life's troubles. Recently, my daughter came to question my mantra, just as I sometimes do. She was upset that what she prays for don't happen anyway. She came to a realization that it may not be true after all. And I am surprised myself when I told her to stop praying then. I know its not a very nice thing to say to a 12-year old but there are times when we just don not know what to believe anymore. There are times when everything seems to go wrong and there is no respite to our heartaches and problems. There are days when I see myself worrying more than praying...like today. It's not awesome, but the realization brings me to know the humanness of all of us.

148. Thirteen Days of Mourning

It has been three days since my mother-in-law passed away and the serenity of the mood in mourning seem to devour us. Pooja's and prayers are being offered and rituals are being practiced. Life has to go on though. Someone even mentioned that Amma decidedly left on a Sunday so as not to disturb our lives. Children had to go to school and workers to their workplace. The VERY practical person in me is not good at going through all those. For me, past is past and we should look at what life has in store for us - the living. Some people may not relate to how I view things but I have always been against outward show of grief and remorse. Deep inside me, I may be sad. But delving on those emotions will not bring anyone back to life...and I am sure my mother-in-law, practical person that she is, approves of that because she knows that deep inside, I am pained of her leaving.

147. Lakshmi Govindan

More than being a mother-in-law, she is a mother to me for more than thirteen years. Months before I got married to her favorite son, I was anxious to meet her. Will she like like, will she not. Would she rather have another Iyengar girl for her son or would she prefer someone who would agree to all her whims and fancies. I guess, afraid was the right word then. I loved her son, but I am not sure whether she will like me, let alone love. But all the stressful feeling vanished when I finally met her and she took me in her arms. Right there and then, I knew I will not be in a stereo-typed mother-in-law/daughter-in-law tandem.

I appreciate the fact that she went out of her way to make me feel welcome to her home and to her family. She was always soft and warm, and she was always there for us. Language was no barrier for her to show us how she cared, no amount of distance made me felt like I am different from them...all because she agreed to be...my mother.

As we laid her to rest today, I asked her for forgiveness for all that I was not to her. With all that she is to me, I should have been a lot more to her. She will b e sorely missed and her memories will remain with us, to be treasured, forever. We love you Amma!

146. Looking back

It has been another stressful week. We have been shuttling between home and hospital as my mother-in-law remains in critical condition. Today was worst when we were told that she is slipping. We rush to the hospital and as we look at her, I found it extremely painful. She is clearly suffering and I feel terribly bad for her. How I wish I can do or say something to lessen her pain...but I was there only to support the people who came through her. I do not know how long she'll last but I would like to look back and remember the days when we had her at her best. I can never forget how she used to cook my favorite dish and serve us as we eat. A typical Iyengar Brahmin mammi, she would not eat until everyone has eaten and been served. She has been very thoughtful that she never fails to remember me whenever there is an occasion that I celebrate being of different faith from them. I would want to look back and remember her as who she was rather than what she is now.  

145. The girls

Independence day and I started the day right...taking my daughter to school for their I-day programme and heading out to the gym to liberate myself from health problems. When I went to pick her up, she came up with a request to have her friends at home for the day....and how can I say no to that. Her two best buddies are really good, quirky girls who are fun to be with. From very good families, I really don't mind having them around my little girl. I enjoy having a glimpse of the growing up years of this generation. More than getting me materials to write about, it gives me immense satisfaction to see for myself how my little girl is evolving which helps me understand her more and more. I just hope they studied enough for their computer exam, which is primarily their reason for getting together today!

144. Friends are friends...

In my current situation, partying is the last thing in my mind. So when my good friend called up to invite for a birthday party, I had to decline. Much as I would like to meet fellow filipinos and eat our very own adobo et al, I have to be practical and reasonable enough to stay back. But then, friends are friends and I sincerely appreciate when my friend, the birthday celebrant herself, came up to the house to bring me food tonight, right after the party is over. I was really touched to have Tita Josie and her husband visit me together with Ate Cita, Tito Frank and their Mexican friend, Jesus. It was more than I could ask for, true friends who come to me when I needed them the most. May their tribe increase!

143. When there is only one set of footprints

So much has happened and a lot is still happening...all look bad. And then, the gospel tells me....faith is what matters. It is not easy to believe what the bible says when we are at this stage when I don't feel well, my husband has to travel a lot, my mother-in-law is in the ICU,  and I have a million things to do. There seems to be no end to what my husband calls, "testing time". I envy his dedication and trust in the Lord for He never wavers even in this difficult times. He prays all the time and keeps on hoping that the end of the tunnel will come soon and that the silver lining will be visible to us. I used to believe in the song Footprints in the Sands and I guess I still am, its just that I am not sure if those footprints are the Lord's or my husband's who do not fail to try and lift me up when I am losing my faith in what tomorrow brings.

142. And Project 070WLP commence...

Different emotions, expectations and challenges...that is what this new project brings me. But then, unless we start, nothing can be accomplished. So here I am on my first day of my Weight Loss Programme. The first day was a thrill. I had to go through a series of consultation regarding my diet and the kind of exercises I have to go through. The people are nice and I felt welcome right away. I guess this is it...cheers to good health!

141. Fitness First

After much deliberation and consultation, I finally decided to go in for O2...one of the finest fitness centre in the city. With its proximity to my daughter's school, language centre and tennis lessons, I decided on it. Its not much of a bargain with its price touching the roof and burning the pocket of my husband, but it was a start for my project 070. As I have mentioned earlier, money can never buy good health and this is my way of saying...yeah, right! But as it is, I already have bets on my performance, so let's ROCK~

140. Albus Severus Potter....

I am not a big Harry Potter fan, but if you have a tweenage child it is difficult not to be carried away by this powerful scheme...that is the Harry Potter Mania. Since I could not get a booking for a weekend movie, we had to take it on a Monday which was kind'a fun coz there's not much crowd in the mall, she does not have a tennis lesson and my hubby is in town. The last of the Harry Potter...hopefully...ended with a bang! As Neville Longbottom did an monologue that Harry Potter did not die in vain and that he will remain in the hearts of many...my daughter included. Nineteen years later and a family emerged, an with that...a new Potter in the person of who else but Harry's son. I guess it never really ended, it commenced another series which my daughter is surely awaiting.

139. Limping back to normalcy...

After so many days...i can no longer count, I am limping back to normalcy...and back to my kay ganda ng buhay! Life is truly awesome that God allows us to experience pain to be able to appreciate good health more and more. As I have vowed a few weeks ago, my family and I are starting on a new scale and are leveling up in health and fitness. Today, our daughter started her coaching lesson on tennis while my hubby and I started on our walking stint. I hope to be back to gym this week and start getting myself fit. It is wonderful to be back on my toes....

138. Love and caring...at its BEST!

For almost ten days now, I've been sick as a dog. And with all sincerity, my husband and daughter takes care of me. From making arrangements for food and all my other needs, they are there for me. I cannot thank God enough for their presence in my life specially during these times when I needed someone to care for me the most. Awesome indeed! I will never trade my family for anything in this world! Love you Dad...love you Baby!

137. Campaigning for my Design

Despite my pain from the blisters all over my body, I had to campaign for my design to be voted as number one. Sitting in front of the computer for the entire day, I sent emails and messages to all my friends begging them to click that button that says vote! Let's wait and see what the result would be.

More and more designs are being uploaded and I am feeling anxious as to how it would be. But then I rest my case, all I think of is that I have done justice to the materials given to me. The usefulness of the product is what matters most.

136. Keeping the pain at bay

Despite my pain, I did not want to stay at home. I decided life must go on and so is my work. From the morning, I started calling colleagues whom I was working on a project. I set up meetings and plan out our course of action. Then, my husband took me to EA to submit my design for the Art of Re-use. From there we went to school to pick up my daughter, did some errands on the side and then got home really exhausted. In the evening, I went for a walk with my hubby which really made me fall flat on the bed afterwards. But that's the beauty of life... doing that makes the pain go away

135. Shingles

For more than ten days I have been suffering. I have been diagnosed anything but the real thing. Today, I had to go to a dermatologist and check on the rashes appearing all over my body. Not another viral infection I prayed. And true enough, it is...in the form of shingles! I am glad its not what I've been thinking of and am afraid of happening...what with all the bad luck I've been going through these days...anything can happen! I have to be on bed rest for the rest of the month, which means I cannot do any work. And I have to bear the itch and pain of the rashes that's expected to spread even more. But as I said, the awesome part is, it is not as serious as I thought it is.  

134. Art of Re-Use

Some months ago, out of my "wish" that for a change I should not buy but win a bag from Hidesign, I entered into a design contest wherein we were given scraps of leather and participants will have to make something out of it. We collected by kit from the Hidesign store at EA only to sit in my headboard for months together. Then came the deadline and I was getting emails after emails from the organizers. But I was sick! And I have no idea what to do. In fact, am not even aware of what all are in that bag. And then, the deadline was extended for a week...its like,, they're waiting for ME! So, despite my pain, I opened the packet and lo and behold...scraps of leather in two tones of brown. What am I to do with these??? To my surprise, in less than an hour, I was proudly showing my designs to my husband who was busy working on the computer. I made a headband and two hairclips out of the two-toned brown leather scraps! I am very proud of myself that I vowed to enter my pieces in the competition which means taking good photographs of it and submitting it back to Hidesign at EA. I may not win a bag, and end up buying one just the same but the thought that there is nothing impossible in turning something that we may consider waste into something beautiful and useful is enough for me.  

133. PhysioTherapy

Today was my first day of Physio Therapy and believe me, its not something that I thoroughly enjoyed. I was put on neck traction for 15 minutes and another session on electromagnetic treatment. But to be fair, it did make me feel a little better, at least those minutes after I got out of the treatment centre. I have to be going for these treatments in the next few days and I sincerely hope that I get out of these miserable health situation soon. Wondering where the awesome part of this is? Its the fact that we could afford these treatments, otherwise, I will have to suffer endlessly!

132. GYM Search

As part of my vow to a healthy lifestyle is to go to a gym where I can start working out and going on a weight-loss program. Yesterday, we went to O2 in Besant Nagar and I was quite impressed with their facilities and the programs that the place offers. But I did not want to commit myself as yet. I needed to look at two other places located very close to home. Today, with my friend Susan, we went to PINK, a gym specially designed for ladies and STAMINA, one that I and Susan did not like much even as we entered. As of now, we have zeroed in on PINK and I would most likely register in another day or two. In the meantime, I am watching what I eat and am going on daily walks to start my system into a weight-loss regiment. Wish me luck!

131. A vow to good health

What happened to me two days ago shook the hell out of me. I kept thinking how it would have been if something morbidly serious happened to me that day...all because I neglected my health. Today, I vow to keep a good health! The first step is to have a sincere discussion with my husband about what I want to achieve and how important it is for me...and as usual, he is there to support me in any way he can. Second, we shortlisted a gym to where I can enroll myself for a regular work-out. Its not cheap! But we are willing to put in that money and most importantly the effort it requires. Third, after a long time...we went for a good walk! Forty-five minutes along Bessy beach and in search for the tennis court where we were supposed to enroll our daughter for her own fitness regiment. From today, I vow to stay away from all the fatty food and carbonated drinks, fried stuff and oily items. Its not easy I know, but then I realized that there is no amount of health to buy me good health. 

130. Cravings

Every now and then, we give in to cravings. This happen mostly when my daughter and I are alone and I am lazy to step into the kitchen and cook. Today, we had cravings for burger and true enough, right after school, we headed to the closest burger stand and bought the yummiest of burgers. I was a little disappointed that this place does not put in much of veggies on their burgers, but nevertheless, their burgers were yummy. Two days ago, we had cravings for KFC and as usual, we did our very own bucket challenge. It was always fun bonding with my daughter but I must keep in mind that the calories it brings may not be good after all.

129. Pain

For the whole day, I was in pain. My back hurts, I had chest pain and I couldn't stand driving back and forth, yet I had no other choice. I had to go for an ECG and I was scared the whole time. But I felt so loved. My daughter was the best in caring for me and looking after my needs. My husband, though from a distance, showed me how much he cared. I am so blessed to experience the best of love while I am in pain.

128. Aakash, Bianka and Arfan

They started together some eight years ago. They have grown and matured. They are still friends. We are still friends with their families. Its nice to get-together and meet friends, reminisce the old days and look forward to what tomorrow may bring. This is what we did when we met for dinner at Kirky's today. Meera and family had come for holidays from the US and together with Rafi and Aysha's family, we had fun while the children talked about their days in St Michael's and how they are doing in their respective schools. Bianka had a good time with the boys though she earlier complained that it would have been more fun if Shivani had been there. Unfortunately, friends like Pungi, Priya and Sudha could not be with us. It would have been a complete reunion for all of us.

127. Designer Bags

Today is the very first day when my husband and I get to mingle with Sishya Parents since this is the first PTA meeting we are attending. It was a lot of fun and we were very happy that our little girl did very well on her first term in a new school. They were all praise for her performance and good marks...and we were very proud indeed. While at school, I couldn't help but notice designer bags all over the place. Moms carry their Prada totes casually, their Coaches, LV's, Fendi's, Burberry, Gucci are all paraded in style. There were a spattering of Hidesigns but the most of them carried an international brand in style. Does this tell me anything? Of course, not only did I regret not lugging my LV or a DKNY or a Fendi...but I realized how Chennai women do have a sense of style and they do have the right to pull it thru in a very nice way. And the awesome feeling that "I can do that too", adds to the excitement!

126. Neck Pain

For almost a week now, I have been suffering from this nagging neck pain. I tried to, as usual, ignore the pain but it seems to be getting into my nerves lately. I would not have gone to the doctor if it doesn't bother me when I drive but since I would be doing a lot of driving around in the next few days, I decided to go and see an ortho. After an initial investigation and a plate of x-ray, it was diagnosed. It was a minor prolapse on my neck bones which the doctor assured can be cured easily provided I go through the medication process, do some exercises and if possible go for physio-therapy. It was a good thing to do I thought because there seem to be a lot of improvement on the first course of medication itself.

14. Choir

Today was my daughter's second week in the music class conducted by a French lady names Betty. She seem to be really enjoying every class specially with the fact that her close friend Annie is there with her. Annie's mom and I would drop them off and come back to pick them up...on the side, we would be peeping while listening to these boys and girls vocalizing and singing. We both love to sing and would have loved to join the choir ourselves..but then, our girls would not allow us. After today's class, Betty approached us saying they need altos and we as adults would be ideal. Then and there our girls started screaming in protest. They simply do not want their moms in the same class. Whew...is this teenage years??? When your kids do not want to see you around anymore when they are with their friends??? But then, I guess we need to respect their wish!

124. The joy of dropping to and picking up from school

Its been quite a while since I did this. I almost forgot how to do it...yep, dropping my daughter to school and picking her up later. Today, I had to do it...and found that it was something that I used to enjoy and still do. This is part of my part-time-career-woman/full-time-mother mode! It can be a little tiring but who's complaining...I get to do some shopping on the side, not bad at all isn't it? But seriously, the joy of doing this for my daughter is something that I truly cherish.

123. A chat with a friend

I do not talk to this friend often but when we chat, I could feel the sincerity of our friendship. Its been sooooo long since we met last. But that does not mean we don't remember each other often...in fact, he is such a nice person that I like to reminisce our days together. The days when we use to bargain for the taxi fare, eat out at the cheapest cafeteria and so many other things that are part of the wonderful memories we would like to keep forever. Today is this person's birthday and I have all the best wishes for him....and he will fondly be remembered as always. Chatting with him is always a pleasure!

122. Raising a pre-teen girl

Will someone please get me a copy of this book...or any other book that would tell me how to deal with a teen-age girl! Sometimes it can be so frustrating how our children do not seem to understand that all we want is the best for them. My daughter is no exception! I now know how many parents wish their children remain children...yes, the cutie-little-ones! Today, she came home in such a good mood...jokes and laughter included. The next minute she is all cranky about her mobile phone and how she is not allowed to call her friend...yeah, this happens just as we enter the house coming from school....i wonder what they'd talk about just minutes after they said bye to each other.  I told her to rest...and that for her means, reading her comic books and listening to music to which I have to again say no...and the next round of tantrums flew in. Like this, my world revolves around trying to make her understand the rules of the house and how they are made just to protect her and support her...not necessarily to make her life, as she calls it...miserable! Hayyy...I was never like that as a teenager!!! And yep, she's not yet a teenager....but don't you dare ask my mom!

121. GV turns 60

Blessings abound! My husband turned 60, hale and healthy. We had a simple celebration for my husband's 60th birthday. A trip to the temple and a get-together with the family. If you know my husband, that simple celebration itself is something that we had to coaxed him in to. His simplicity and humility is exemplary...two of the best qualities I liked in him. More than celebrating the occasion, I celebrate the person. I will never fail to celebrate the person in him and I will never stop loving my dear GV for just being there for me all the time. The wind beneath my wings, the father-friend-brother-lover that I am lucky to have.  

120. Property Hunting

It was a beautiful day as we finally zeroed in on a property that would be our next home! It was a Saturday and even though we wanted to stay in bed longer than we usually do, we decided to go and visit a property fair being held at the Chennai Trade Centre. It was a high end property exhibition and we expected only the very best...and yes, the very best we found. It was a wonderful experience going through options and it was wonderful to know that yes, we do have options...

119. Rewards

118. Debate Club

117. Jewellery

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am not a lover of anything that glitters on my body. At the most, I would be wearing my wedding ring, my thali and the bracelet that my M-I-L requested me to wear at all times. Today, reluctantly, mu husband and I had to drag ourselves to the jewellery store to make a purchase requested by my in-laws for my husband's birthday. How difficult it is to buy something for someone who would not want to wear any such things. We finally settled on a simple piece that he said he would wear on that day and that's it. He never forces me to do anything that I don't like doing so I guess I have no right to force him into wearing something that he does not like...well, maybe I should keep it then!

116. A whole New World!

Today, I woke up with this song in my mind. Probably because its July and it reminds me of someone who I dearly loved...the person I enjoyed watching the movie with, bearing this soundtrack, some years ago. It seems apt because I am venturing into a whole new world soon. There are hurdles to be faced and challenges to be tackled, but I believed that it would be just another carpet ride to enjoy and experience a whole new realities of life. And before I forgot, Alladin's birthday comes soon...hope you have an enchanting one...wherever you are!

115. Working from home!

This is something that I have done before and I don't know how is it that I feel uncomfortable doing the same now. Working from home spares me from all the hassles of going to office - dressing up, rushing, driving. But then, working from home makes me a lot less productive because I am exposed to the unfinished housework that I thought should be attended to since I am home anyway. It worked for me before but I am not sure, it would work well in the long run. I better get up and go to work!

114. Indian Weddings

They always fascinate me. Whether big or small, grand or simple...I am still in awe whenever I see Indian brides and groom who has been matched with each other.  I have nothing against it, and I respect the Indian culture of arranged marriages but I always wonder as to how these two people would start a life together. There may be differences, there may be difficulties, but Indian marriages are some of the strongest in the world. Today, as we attended a rather grand wedding of our family doctor, I sincerely wished the bride and groom a lovely companionship and a long and happy married life. 

113. Driving around and feeling happy about it...

Today, I was in the car most of the time. Driving my loved ones to the places where they should be and I need not. But I really did not mind those time I was at the wheel for I felt nothing but happiness to see the happy faces. It was a tiring day being a chauffeur...but I won't trade this day for any other day...for I saw how my husband felt relieved to have accomplished all that he had to do and how my daughter felt proud of having someone to take her and her friends around despite the odds. And most of all...I that God that we have a car to drive around!

112. Thirumalai Vaiyavur

Since we came back from abroad, we never had the chance to visit this place we love to call our family temple. We have come to love Thirumalai Vaiyavur not only because of its proximity to our farm but because the the Thirupati God in the temple seem to be our guiding light in life as a family. Every time we come for a visit seem like a coming home to the father who never fail to keep us feel we are in the safest of places and the warmest of hearts. A swift swing in the evening was well worth the tedious travel. Reaching home after a long drive we were treated to a peaceful sleep dreaming about the beautiful day --- right from the Anna University meeting to ACJ's offer, finishing my daughter's exam, visit to Mr Balu, the enchanting temple climb and finally realizing how good God has been to us! Govinda! Govinda!

111. Lifting everything to God!

For a long time, I have been taking on life on my own. Thinking that I can achieve many things myself. Until I was given a reminder that there is God and that He is just there to lend a helping hand. Ask and its shall be given unto you, the bible said. As I woke up this morning, I prayed and lifted everything up to Him. I told Him that I will no longer plan for myself because I want him to take over from now on. I went about my day and there He is...guiding me every step of the way. There is nothing like having Him take the driver's seat...and unlike when my husband literally drives the car...I do not dare backseat-driving! And this brings me back to one of my favorite song...Footprints in the Sand..."when you see only one sets of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you!"

110. Misguided

I started the day with a positive attitude. Prayed well. Hoping for the best of days. Was in a dilemma on how to answer an offer in an email...then came a call from a friend. Thought that was the answer...and yes, she did gave an answer. Only for to find out later that I was misguided. The later email brought a sad face...but do I really have to start worrying? I guess not. I should take it as a sign... 

109. Proud to be an Indian...(?)

I have always loved my nationality and the country where I was born and brought up but having lived in this country, I couldn't help but be proud of being even a "small" part of it. In a conference this morning, I was a witness to the words of wisdom said by both the american guests and their Indian counterparts. In truth and humility, the Indians tower above many Americans in intelligence and smartness. Every American technology has an Indian brain behind it. Meeting the American Vice-consul made me think how young Indians are going in the high ranks not only of Information Technology but Civil Service as well. It was fun talking to him, a very simple young man who even insisted that we take him out to lunch!

108. Diet (again!)

Time and again I have ventured into dieting. Eighty percent would always fail but let me not forget the twenty percent when I felt a little lighter and my clothes seem bigger. Today, I vowed to lose the kilos I gained when I went on holidays...yes, at least that! It has been an ok first day as I did not have to go to office (this is the day when I start working from home!). I hope to be able to pull this through...

107. My Hiding Place

The song in today's mass struck a chord in me as it was one of the songs we use to sing as a choir back in my younger days. It brought me a lot of meaning then when I use to sulk in one corner when I am in distress and there is no one who seem to understand. Prayer has been my hiding place, and it also reminds me of one of my best pal's words ... why worry when you can pray! But is prayer enough? That's what was the center of discussion between me and my daughter this afternoon. Prayer may be something that God listens to but he too expects us to work hard for our prayers to come thru. 

106. Studying with my Daughter

Exam time is here. And I am quite excited to sit with my daughter again and pour over her books. I actually miss studying with her. Maybe because I've been really busy with work in the past days and I really regret not paying attention to her studies. Not that she did not do well in school (she did extremely well, which I am very proud of), but simply because I consider those times as a very productive bonding time between us since I also learn in the process. Yeah, many things that was taught to me as a student...many things that I have also forgotten. The next one week will be an extensive study week and I am not complaining...if at all, I am looking forward to it. 

105. Time to say Goodbye

This is the day when I had to say goodbye to my colleagues at work. It was bittersweet as I know that there are people who are genuinely sad that I am leaving. I will surely miss them. Its has been a wonderful stay...a whole lot of learning..and a whole lot of friendship. But then, there is a time when we have to make that decision and let go. Goodbye my friends.

104. My NV Friends

It was a touching gesture when my NV (non-vegetarian) colleagues at the office hosted a “meaty” farewell party in my honour. Everyone contributed their share to come up with a hearty meal for me. I sincerely appreciate these people who I know truly cares for me and are genuinely sad that I am leaving the company. I had a really good time to day and I thank God for the wonders of friends like them. To Neeta, Ravi, Sheeja, Ravi, Preeti, Ganesh and Thirumalai...I will surely miss you all!   

103. Rich, arrogant people ... no thanks!

For so long, I have come to believe that ‘really’ rich people are level-headed, polite, nice, just and kind-hearted. Maybe it’s because I am fortunate to have been acquainted with the “real” ones. But lately, I have been exposed to so-called rich people who do not seem to fit in the mould. They are arrogant, rude, impolite and selfish. Being rich does not camouflage all those bad behaviour and I would rather be what I am than be rich like them and behave like that. True, they have followers and pseudo-friends, but they are there because they get something for being there. I know someone who will do anything and say yes to everything this rich person says, but then where is her self-respect. Everyone knows why she is there and why she remains there. I am lucky to have real, not necessarily rich, friends who will be there for me no matter what.

102. The Sound of Silence

Yes, by Paul Simon. This has been one of my favourite songs from as early as I can remember. Listening to it is like listening to my heart...recalling beautiful memories in silence. Today, I decided to put myself in silent mode. I just want to observe the coming and going of people...the talking...the bullying...lifting of personal benches...impish laughter... over-the-top assumptions and presumptions, not to forget “butterings”...the sounds that I would not be hearing in a couple of days more. Funny as it may sound...but these I consider awesome because I have learned a lot from this place. How to be and how not to be. In another few months, I will sit down and listen to my favourite music and smile...or better yet, grin...and remember the funny...the ridiculous...the mysterious...the awful things that happened here...and the reason why I decided to step out. And say...mabuti na lang!  

101. Doors are Opening...

God is so good. Even before I could ask, He has started opening new doors for me. I cannot ask for more...maybe only for guidance in choosing the best among the options I have in front of me.

I thank you Lord for the gift of life, the gift of family, the gift of friends...I have been lucky enough to enjoy your goodness in every way.  

100. Father's Day is everyday

There is no special day for fathers, because...for me fathers day is everyday just like daughter's day. I always strive to give my best to these two most important people in my life.  But then, as I have said in my FB status, I would like to pay tribute to four wonderful men who help me reach whatever status I have today. My dad, who left us early but with good memories of a happy childhood. My frandfa, who practically raised me. My Nong Mar who stood by me and took me as his own. And finally, my hubby who is and will always remain my pillar of strength. A very simple man, my husband is a Gandhian in many ways and that's just the way I like him. There is no better way to honor the father (and husband) in him...than to do it everyday!

99. Coffee goodness from our little girl

For almost six months, I avoided coffee. It was more to test my will power than to avoid this wonderful drink that I grew up with. But today, in between my deadlines, I could not resist coffee offered by our little girl. It was so sweet of her to make coffee for my husband and me and brought it with some cookies to our bedroom.  She had her own latte while we share a good laugh about her school experiences. There is nothing more wonderful than sharing simple joys with the people I love the most.