Fathers will be more than willing to sacrifice their lives for their loved-ones. This is what was displayed by Papa Smurf in the movie we saw today. I was reminded of how my dad had to sacrificed being away from us and from his own country to earn dollars for his family. At a young age, I was unaware of all his pains and sufferings living in the dessert of Saudi just to provide for our education. But now, I fully understand and appreciate what all he did for us. I would never have reached this stage if he did not do what he did. Papa Smurf reminded me of my Dad and it also brings me to realization of how my hubby works hard to earn for his family. I guess no father can be father from what Papa Smurf is in the movie.
There are more than a thousand things that makes life beautiful... let us celebrate its beauty by highlighting one every day... here's mine!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
150. In support of my better half...
In the last few weeks, I should have been more supportive of my husband...which I am clearly not. Not knowing the culture, I have not been very much of a wife to him lately. I feel guilty but then who is to blame. Should I have been more receptive to what was coming when my mother-in-law fell ill and eventually died? It pains me to see my husband suffer emotionally, and it pains me more when I know I did not do my part to share that pain with him. Nothing beats my love and respect for my husband, the fact that I am here in a country completely unknown to me is a testimony to that. I wish I could be more supportive of him and more understanding of what is going on right now. I am his wife and his better half, I feel what he feels...I love you Dad!
Friday, August 26, 2011
149. Why worry when you can pray...
Some years ago, I received what I thought was a very special gift from a special friend....it was a decorative paperweight in stone with a powerful message, it says: "Why worry when you can pray!" I came to live with that mantra. When I am in difficult situation, I calm myself and pray with the belief that prayer answers all of life's troubles. Recently, my daughter came to question my mantra, just as I sometimes do. She was upset that what she prays for don't happen anyway. She came to a realization that it may not be true after all. And I am surprised myself when I told her to stop praying then. I know its not a very nice thing to say to a 12-year old but there are times when we just don not know what to believe anymore. There are times when everything seems to go wrong and there is no respite to our heartaches and problems. There are days when I see myself worrying more than praying...like today. It's not awesome, but the realization brings me to know the humanness of all of us.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
148. Thirteen Days of Mourning
It has been three days since my mother-in-law passed away and the serenity of the mood in mourning seem to devour us. Pooja's and prayers are being offered and rituals are being practiced. Life has to go on though. Someone even mentioned that Amma decidedly left on a Sunday so as not to disturb our lives. Children had to go to school and workers to their workplace. The VERY practical person in me is not good at going through all those. For me, past is past and we should look at what life has in store for us - the living. Some people may not relate to how I view things but I have always been against outward show of grief and remorse. Deep inside me, I may be sad. But delving on those emotions will not bring anyone back to life...and I am sure my mother-in-law, practical person that she is, approves of that because she knows that deep inside, I am pained of her leaving.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
147. Lakshmi Govindan
More than being a mother-in-law, she is a mother to me for more than thirteen years. Months before I got married to her favorite son, I was anxious to meet her. Will she like like, will she not. Would she rather have another Iyengar girl for her son or would she prefer someone who would agree to all her whims and fancies. I guess, afraid was the right word then. I loved her son, but I am not sure whether she will like me, let alone love. But all the stressful feeling vanished when I finally met her and she took me in her arms. Right there and then, I knew I will not be in a stereo-typed mother-in-law/daughter-in-law tandem.
I appreciate the fact that she went out of her way to make me feel welcome to her home and to her family. She was always soft and warm, and she was always there for us. Language was no barrier for her to show us how she cared, no amount of distance made me felt like I am different from them...all because she agreed to be...my mother.
As we laid her to rest today, I asked her for forgiveness for all that I was not to her. With all that she is to me, I should have been a lot more to her. She will b e sorely missed and her memories will remain with us, to be treasured, forever. We love you Amma!
I appreciate the fact that she went out of her way to make me feel welcome to her home and to her family. She was always soft and warm, and she was always there for us. Language was no barrier for her to show us how she cared, no amount of distance made me felt like I am different from them...all because she agreed to be...my mother.
As we laid her to rest today, I asked her for forgiveness for all that I was not to her. With all that she is to me, I should have been a lot more to her. She will b e sorely missed and her memories will remain with us, to be treasured, forever. We love you Amma!
Friday, August 19, 2011
146. Looking back
It has been another stressful week. We have been shuttling between home and hospital as my mother-in-law remains in critical condition. Today was worst when we were told that she is slipping. We rush to the hospital and as we look at her, I found it extremely painful. She is clearly suffering and I feel terribly bad for her. How I wish I can do or say something to lessen her pain...but I was there only to support the people who came through her. I do not know how long she'll last but I would like to look back and remember the days when we had her at her best. I can never forget how she used to cook my favorite dish and serve us as we eat. A typical Iyengar Brahmin mammi, she would not eat until everyone has eaten and been served. She has been very thoughtful that she never fails to remember me whenever there is an occasion that I celebrate being of different faith from them. I would want to look back and remember her as who she was rather than what she is now.
Monday, August 15, 2011
145. The girls
Independence day and I started the day right...taking my daughter to school for their I-day programme and heading out to the gym to liberate myself from health problems. When I went to pick her up, she came up with a request to have her friends at home for the day....and how can I say no to that. Her two best buddies are really good, quirky girls who are fun to be with. From very good families, I really don't mind having them around my little girl. I enjoy having a glimpse of the growing up years of this generation. More than getting me materials to write about, it gives me immense satisfaction to see for myself how my little girl is evolving which helps me understand her more and more. I just hope they studied enough for their computer exam, which is primarily their reason for getting together today!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
144. Friends are friends...
In my current situation, partying is the last thing in my mind. So when my good friend called up to invite for a birthday party, I had to decline. Much as I would like to meet fellow filipinos and eat our very own adobo et al, I have to be practical and reasonable enough to stay back. But then, friends are friends and I sincerely appreciate when my friend, the birthday celebrant herself, came up to the house to bring me food tonight, right after the party is over. I was really touched to have Tita Josie and her husband visit me together with Ate Cita, Tito Frank and their Mexican friend, Jesus. It was more than I could ask for, true friends who come to me when I needed them the most. May their tribe increase!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
143. When there is only one set of footprints
So much has happened and a lot is still happening...all look bad. And then, the gospel tells me....faith is what matters. It is not easy to believe what the bible says when we are at this stage when I don't feel well, my husband has to travel a lot, my mother-in-law is in the ICU, and I have a million things to do. There seems to be no end to what my husband calls, "testing time". I envy his dedication and trust in the Lord for He never wavers even in this difficult times. He prays all the time and keeps on hoping that the end of the tunnel will come soon and that the silver lining will be visible to us. I used to believe in the song Footprints in the Sands and I guess I still am, its just that I am not sure if those footprints are the Lord's or my husband's who do not fail to try and lift me up when I am losing my faith in what tomorrow brings.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
142. And Project 070WLP commence...
Different emotions, expectations and challenges...that is what this new project brings me. But then, unless we start, nothing can be accomplished. So here I am on my first day of my Weight Loss Programme. The first day was a thrill. I had to go through a series of consultation regarding my diet and the kind of exercises I have to go through. The people are nice and I felt welcome right away. I guess this is it...cheers to good health!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
141. Fitness First
After much deliberation and consultation, I finally decided to go in for O2...one of the finest fitness centre in the city. With its proximity to my daughter's school, language centre and tennis lessons, I decided on it. Its not much of a bargain with its price touching the roof and burning the pocket of my husband, but it was a start for my project 070. As I have mentioned earlier, money can never buy good health and this is my way of saying...yeah, right! But as it is, I already have bets on my performance, so let's ROCK~
Monday, August 8, 2011
140. Albus Severus Potter....
I am not a big Harry Potter fan, but if you have a tweenage child it is difficult not to be carried away by this powerful scheme...that is the Harry Potter Mania. Since I could not get a booking for a weekend movie, we had to take it on a Monday which was kind'a fun coz there's not much crowd in the mall, she does not have a tennis lesson and my hubby is in town. The last of the Harry Potter...hopefully...ended with a bang! As Neville Longbottom did an monologue that Harry Potter did not die in vain and that he will remain in the hearts of many...my daughter included. Nineteen years later and a family emerged, an with that...a new Potter in the person of who else but Harry's son. I guess it never really ended, it commenced another series which my daughter is surely awaiting.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
139. Limping back to normalcy...
After so many days...i can no longer count, I am limping back to normalcy...and back to my kay ganda ng buhay! Life is truly awesome that God allows us to experience pain to be able to appreciate good health more and more. As I have vowed a few weeks ago, my family and I are starting on a new scale and are leveling up in health and fitness. Today, our daughter started her coaching lesson on tennis while my hubby and I started on our walking stint. I hope to be back to gym this week and start getting myself fit. It is wonderful to be back on my toes....
Monday, August 1, 2011
138. Love and caring...at its BEST!
For almost ten days now, I've been sick as a dog. And with all sincerity, my husband and daughter takes care of me. From making arrangements for food and all my other needs, they are there for me. I cannot thank God enough for their presence in my life specially during these times when I needed someone to care for me the most. Awesome indeed! I will never trade my family for anything in this world! Love you Dad...love you Baby!
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