111. Lifting everything to God!

For a long time, I have been taking on life on my own. Thinking that I can achieve many things myself. Until I was given a reminder that there is God and that He is just there to lend a helping hand. Ask and its shall be given unto you, the bible said. As I woke up this morning, I prayed and lifted everything up to Him. I told Him that I will no longer plan for myself because I want him to take over from now on. I went about my day and there He is...guiding me every step of the way. There is nothing like having Him take the driver's seat...and unlike when my husband literally drives the car...I do not dare backseat-driving! And this brings me back to one of my favorite song...Footprints in the Sand..."when you see only one sets of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you!"

110. Misguided

I started the day with a positive attitude. Prayed well. Hoping for the best of days. Was in a dilemma on how to answer an offer in an email...then came a call from a friend. Thought that was the answer...and yes, she did gave an answer. Only for to find out later that I was misguided. The later email brought a sad face...but do I really have to start worrying? I guess not. I should take it as a sign... 

109. Proud to be an Indian...(?)

I have always loved my nationality and the country where I was born and brought up but having lived in this country, I couldn't help but be proud of being even a "small" part of it. In a conference this morning, I was a witness to the words of wisdom said by both the american guests and their Indian counterparts. In truth and humility, the Indians tower above many Americans in intelligence and smartness. Every American technology has an Indian brain behind it. Meeting the American Vice-consul made me think how young Indians are going in the high ranks not only of Information Technology but Civil Service as well. It was fun talking to him, a very simple young man who even insisted that we take him out to lunch!

108. Diet (again!)

Time and again I have ventured into dieting. Eighty percent would always fail but let me not forget the twenty percent when I felt a little lighter and my clothes seem bigger. Today, I vowed to lose the kilos I gained when I went on holidays...yes, at least that! It has been an ok first day as I did not have to go to office (this is the day when I start working from home!). I hope to be able to pull this through...

107. My Hiding Place

The song in today's mass struck a chord in me as it was one of the songs we use to sing as a choir back in my younger days. It brought me a lot of meaning then when I use to sulk in one corner when I am in distress and there is no one who seem to understand. Prayer has been my hiding place, and it also reminds me of one of my best pal's words ... why worry when you can pray! But is prayer enough? That's what was the center of discussion between me and my daughter this afternoon. Prayer may be something that God listens to but he too expects us to work hard for our prayers to come thru. 

106. Studying with my Daughter

Exam time is here. And I am quite excited to sit with my daughter again and pour over her books. I actually miss studying with her. Maybe because I've been really busy with work in the past days and I really regret not paying attention to her studies. Not that she did not do well in school (she did extremely well, which I am very proud of), but simply because I consider those times as a very productive bonding time between us since I also learn in the process. Yeah, many things that was taught to me as a student...many things that I have also forgotten. The next one week will be an extensive study week and I am not complaining...if at all, I am looking forward to it. 

105. Time to say Goodbye

This is the day when I had to say goodbye to my colleagues at work. It was bittersweet as I know that there are people who are genuinely sad that I am leaving. I will surely miss them. Its has been a wonderful stay...a whole lot of learning..and a whole lot of friendship. But then, there is a time when we have to make that decision and let go. Goodbye my friends.

104. My NV Friends

It was a touching gesture when my NV (non-vegetarian) colleagues at the office hosted a “meaty” farewell party in my honour. Everyone contributed their share to come up with a hearty meal for me. I sincerely appreciate these people who I know truly cares for me and are genuinely sad that I am leaving the company. I had a really good time to day and I thank God for the wonders of friends like them. To Neeta, Ravi, Sheeja, Ravi, Preeti, Ganesh and Thirumalai...I will surely miss you all!   

103. Rich, arrogant people ... no thanks!

For so long, I have come to believe that ‘really’ rich people are level-headed, polite, nice, just and kind-hearted. Maybe it’s because I am fortunate to have been acquainted with the “real” ones. But lately, I have been exposed to so-called rich people who do not seem to fit in the mould. They are arrogant, rude, impolite and selfish. Being rich does not camouflage all those bad behaviour and I would rather be what I am than be rich like them and behave like that. True, they have followers and pseudo-friends, but they are there because they get something for being there. I know someone who will do anything and say yes to everything this rich person says, but then where is her self-respect. Everyone knows why she is there and why she remains there. I am lucky to have real, not necessarily rich, friends who will be there for me no matter what.

102. The Sound of Silence

Yes, by Paul Simon. This has been one of my favourite songs from as early as I can remember. Listening to it is like listening to my heart...recalling beautiful memories in silence. Today, I decided to put myself in silent mode. I just want to observe the coming and going of people...the talking...the bullying...lifting of personal benches...impish laughter... over-the-top assumptions and presumptions, not to forget “butterings”...the sounds that I would not be hearing in a couple of days more. Funny as it may sound...but these I consider awesome because I have learned a lot from this place. How to be and how not to be. In another few months, I will sit down and listen to my favourite music and smile...or better yet, grin...and remember the funny...the ridiculous...the mysterious...the awful things that happened here...and the reason why I decided to step out. And say...mabuti na lang!  

101. Doors are Opening...

God is so good. Even before I could ask, He has started opening new doors for me. I cannot ask for more...maybe only for guidance in choosing the best among the options I have in front of me.

I thank you Lord for the gift of life, the gift of family, the gift of friends...I have been lucky enough to enjoy your goodness in every way.  

100. Father's Day is everyday

There is no special day for fathers, because...for me fathers day is everyday just like daughter's day. I always strive to give my best to these two most important people in my life.  But then, as I have said in my FB status, I would like to pay tribute to four wonderful men who help me reach whatever status I have today. My dad, who left us early but with good memories of a happy childhood. My frandfa, who practically raised me. My Nong Mar who stood by me and took me as his own. And finally, my hubby who is and will always remain my pillar of strength. A very simple man, my husband is a Gandhian in many ways and that's just the way I like him. There is no better way to honor the father (and husband) in him...than to do it everyday!

99. Coffee goodness from our little girl

For almost six months, I avoided coffee. It was more to test my will power than to avoid this wonderful drink that I grew up with. But today, in between my deadlines, I could not resist coffee offered by our little girl. It was so sweet of her to make coffee for my husband and me and brought it with some cookies to our bedroom.  She had her own latte while we share a good laugh about her school experiences. There is nothing more wonderful than sharing simple joys with the people I love the most. 

97. Stepping out of the charade

Empty vessels make the most noise, a proverb said. Very true! I have noticed people who would be telling you what all they have done in life and all the achievements they gathered, even without you asking for it. Unsolicited? Maybe. But it’s their way of easing their way into the limelight that they will never be a part of. These people are those who are clothed with insecurity blanket because they have nothing to actually show. To camouflage that, they talk. And talking they do best. (Wonder then why they don’t go into broadcasting? But yeah, for that you need to talk sense. But that too, they don’t have). Sadly, there are those who believe those kinds of people. And as my colleague rightly put it, they even adore them the same way they would adore Lord Vishnu! Our conclusion is plain and simple, people believe because they are ignorant. And they will remain ignorant because they chose to believe these kinds of people. Fortunately, we have a choice to just step out and not allow ourselves to be part of the charade!   

96. Burnt Hand...right!

Can you imagine not being able to use your right hand??? I can. Today, because of mere carelessness, I burnt my hand while cooking breakfast. I must have been thinking about what would happen in today's meeting with my boss (yeah, after my big 'I quit' moment)...that's why the mishap. But then, I learn to appreciate the uses of our hands on this day. Apart from other realizations like, again, how I like my job. But then again, that is not enough reason not to let go. Like our hands, when one is hurt...the other must work hard! The associations are a bit far-off...but for as long as I understand what I mean...gets ko na yon!

96. Resignation

Acceptance. That is the meaning of the word. Something that is somehow unexpected given that fact that resignation has the connotation of leaving something that we are not very happy about. But then I guess there is a truth to the meaning. Resignation is accepting the fact that you are not for THAT...and THAT is not for you. I have been in my job for some time now and I have been delighted to be part of this new concept. To say I love my job is an understatement. The concept is something that appealed to me from day one. Enthusiastically, I gave it my all. Whether my ‘all’ is not enough or the job is not enough for me...this is the time to say goodbye. I guess, this is just my way of saying...I respect myself that I wouldn’t allow even something that I love doing go my way.       

95. Thou shall not steal!

It’s the 8^th commandment, in case you’re wondering! This is one line I would like to throw to someone I regrettably have to have regularly interaction with. ‘And it’s a mortal sin’, if I may add. Well, some people do not understand that stealing does not only mean taking materials things on a sly. More than that, taking in someone’s idea and projecting it as your own...is worst. But then, she seems so used to it that she does it without batting an eyelash. I am not here to teach a lesson to these kinds of people but I just cannot stand them. I leave them with Karma...I do believe that there is an end to all this and I would like to see that come soon. In the meantime...she can start saying all the mysteries of the rosary to commiserate for what she has been doing.      

94. Umbilicus – a tie that binds

In the editorial meeting today, I was completely absorbed when our guest, Padma Srinath spoke of the cord that binds the mother to the child. That cord may have been cut during the birth of the child but it is like an invisible tie that binds the mother to her baby, no matter what happens. This brought me to a realization of how my mind would always go back to my child. No matter what I am doing or where I am at, thoughts of my baby would always come up. When Padma spoke of the dreaded time when mothers leave their child at school for the first time, I could not help but reminisce my daughter’s first day in kindergarten. I had to rush to the car and there I started crying. Wonder how it would be when she decides to go to a college somewhere else, away from her dad and me. Thus the joke we like to share at home, my hubby and I would go wherever our daughter go for college...and yes, we might as well finish our seemingly ‘elusive’ phDs.  

93. Independence Day

As my countrymen wave our flag to celebrate the Philippine Independence, I decided to do it my way...my style! I started off by bringing out three new t-shirts we brought back from our recent trip. All in Philippine theme. Blue for my hubby, yellow for my daughter and red for me. The tri-color. Heading to the church, I thought of this old friend whom I have been seeing in the church but never had the chance to chat with her...ok, there was a misunderstanding in between. But then, what the heck...its Independence Day and let me be free from worrying about what cause our distance from each other (which I have actually forgotten in the first place). Right after the mass, I decided to approach her and flash my biggest smile and good wishes of Happy Independence. Just like that..and all our differences seem to vanish. We are independent of what happened yesterday...we talked about our families and our country. And then I thought, there is no better way of celebrating Independence Day than reuniting with a 'long-lost friend and kababayan'.

92. Kovai Pazhamudir Nilayam

Saturday, apart from being my cleaning day, is the day we go veggie shopping. And there is no better place to go for vegetable shopping than our favorite Kovai. Our routine would always begin with a fresh fruit juice locate just beside the shop. Their juices is soooo good that we had to queue up to order. After a refreshing drink, our sojourn begins. My hubby helps me a lot in this activity...yeah, mostly the carrying part! But then, its one bonding time we always enjoy doing together...yeah, yeah...veggie shopping!

91. Patience

Ralph Marston once said, “The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.”

Patience is a virtue that I do not seem to possess. I get rattled when things don’t go the way I plan or want them to. It does not mean though that I am not a person who would accept things easily...well, maybe I just want things done properly and in order all the time. It does not also follow that I do not have faith. I just believe that things work better if we work for it. Thank God, my husband is the exact opposite of me. When things don’t turn out the way it should be, he takes it in stride. He believes that everything happens for a reason, and that everything happens for good. Patience is a virtue that he has...in plenty!

90. Lunchbreaks

At exactly 1:00 pm, everyone is anxious to open their lunch boxes. However simple our food maybe, we look forward to this time when we all get-together at the conference table and partake our lunch. This is the time when we are equal. We get to talk about anything under the sun. It could be the latest political scenario by Sheeja or the current traffic snarl happening in some parts of Chennai courtesy of Ravi. A very relax part of the day that no one dare disturb us during this time, not even the big boss! And we thank her for that, for afterall she can disturb us anytime of the day...but spare us this few minutes.     

89. Nagging Headache

I don’t know if I should blame it on the weather or my jet lag but I have been getting this nagging headache in the last three days. It is so bad that I have to literally lie down and give myself that much needed sleep. Thanks to my loving husband and thoughtful daughter, they make it a point to keep me in good humour and in comfortable environment when the headache strikes. My husband even took me out for a treat at Murugan Idly House for a sumptuous vada and dosa while my daughter never fails to give me the foot massage that always soothes all my pain.

88. Perplexed

I am not worried, I am just perplexed! Who am I kidding? Today, I could hardly focus on work. All I can think of is what my next move should be. Hubby is no help. When I asked him, his ready answer is ... just quit! Well, I am perplexed...yes, I am. And I am also worried. Why? I don't know. There is nothing to worry, really. This place is not the end all and be all...but I guess, I need something to focus my worry on...and this is it!

87. Photo Shoot

It's back to the grind! My first day in the office is, as expected, a little lazy! I almost slept in the editorial meeting and by mid-day, I was ready to go home. Thanks to a photo shoot scheduled in my neighbourhood. I had a valid reason to scoot and be out of the office, otherwise...I would have slept the afternoon away. 

86. Stained Glass Windows

I have always been fascinated by stained glass windows. Yep, something like those seen in churches! There is something in it that gives me joy...maybe its the sunlight behind those beautiful designs. I had stained glass windows at our 'other house' but then, those who knew me well would know why we're not living in that house. So again, I miss having stained glass windows. Thank heavens I found a solution to this...I just bought meters and meters of stained glass sheets that I can easily install on our windows. Now, we have instant stained glass effects! This is what Chinese minds can do...for people like me!

85. Stocking up

After relaxing for the whole day, its time to move on with life...and what better way to begin than to fuel the body. We had to go grocery shopping for almost everything - from chilli powder to sugar, detergent to shampoo. This is something that I don't enjoy much but then I do not have a choice really...school starts and I have to go to work myself...I ought to prepare something come Monday! So Five Star we go!

84. First Day of School

Anxious...this is what my daughter and I were this morning. I was afraid to ask her how she feels because I myself do not know how to explain the anxiety within me. New school, new friends, new teachers...I know for a fact that these are not easy to deal with. Specially since this has been her 4th move...being a new girl all the time is not good, she says. But then, come afternoon and she was all smiles when she met me near the gate. Awesome! One word that assured me that we made the right decision. 

83. No food in sight!

Coming from a three-week-long holiday, we came back to an empty refrigerator. Barring bottles of water, there is no food in sight. Where do we turn to? The biscuit jars on the side. Something that we never really focus our attention before. This made me realized how we take for granted the many things we have and how we simply ignore the surpluses, or the extras. Before we went out to buy our groceries and re-stock our supplies, we prayed and thank God for the biscuit jar left on the sidelines. 

82. HOME

Home is where my heart is...very true! Despite the fact that I was born and brought up in the Philippines, and I have my first home in Buho...I still felt enormously relieved to have reached Chennai, my home now. Back here, I can be myself again and I can do whatever I wish to. After a tedious 15 hours trip, I am just happy to sleep on my own bed, clutching the pillows I missed so much. There's no place like home!