156. Absence makes the heart forgets....

I was trying to keep my feelings at bay. But when the invitation landed on my email, I couldn't control it anymore. The family that I thought I belonged to seem to have forgotten that I still do exist. Before writing it down here, I deliberated whether I have the right to be upset or not. And my conclusion remains, yes I have. During my years of working back home, I tried to be good to them. I tried to give them what they needed. The obvious need not be mentioned here. And this time, when I thought I should be part of their big day, I am conveniently forgotten. The worst part is, the newfound family seem to take center stage...I just hope she's really happy...and that the happiness should last.

155. Sickness

I am not a sickly person. At the most, I'd fall ill once in a year due to colds...that's all. But this year, I have been falling sick quite often. I have been sick almost every month and it puzzles me. This time, my daughter too fell ill immediately after me. We were both tired lying on the bed when it occurred to me how lucky am I to have someone to take care of us when I cannot do my regular duty as a wife and mother. My husband has been taking care of our every need from the time I feel ill last week till today. I thank God for His good health and I thank God for his generosity of time and self.

154. Bad Luck

Bad luck happens to anybody...today, its me! Well, rotten bad luck has been affecting me when it comes to my work with IFMR. It didn't help that my last work was not taken well. I cannot please everyone, and I don't intend to. Enough is enough and I just want to forget this happened. 

153. Sancho Emmanuel Tibayan - Ramos

The day is a day of thanksgiving for our family as our newest member is born. Sancho Emmanuel, my nephew. Born after years and years of waiting, SAM as he will be known fondly is named after my late father and the Tita Emma, the mother of my brother-in-law. It was, for me, a day of excitement and anxiety as I want just want him to come out healthy and that my sister should not have any difficulty. At first, I could not express my happiness as I want to know if both of them are doing well. Only when I was told that they are both out of danger did I feel the excitement of welcoming SAM into our family. 

152. Judging another writer...a group of writers!

I was invited to be one of the judges on the regional essay writing competition for ICSE Schools. I was quite excited to see what these young writers have to offer. Cold they be better than writers of my generation, or even the generation ahead. There were about 28 participants and I realized how amazing these young people are, in terms of their ideas and the way they present them in writing. I would say 300% better than most journalists in my generation. The influx of information has done a great deal of help and support for them and it is clearly visible in the facts that they put in to their writing given the short time limit during the competition.

151. Papa Smurf

Fathers will be more than willing to sacrifice their lives for their loved-ones. This is what was displayed by Papa Smurf in the movie we saw today. I was reminded of how my dad had to sacrificed being away from us and from his own country to earn dollars for his family. At a young age, I was unaware of all his pains and sufferings living in the dessert of Saudi just to provide for our education. But now, I fully understand and appreciate what all he did for us. I would never have reached this stage if he did not do what he did. Papa Smurf reminded me of my Dad and it also brings me to realization of how my hubby works hard to earn for his family. I guess no father can be father from what Papa Smurf is in the movie.

150. In support of my better half...

In the last few weeks, I should have been more supportive of my husband...which I am clearly not. Not knowing the culture, I have not been very much of a wife to him lately. I feel guilty but then who is to blame. Should I have been more receptive to what was coming when my mother-in-law fell ill and eventually died? It pains me to see my husband suffer emotionally, and it pains me more when I know I did not do my part to share that pain with him. Nothing beats my love and respect for my husband, the fact that I am here in a country completely unknown to me is a testimony to that. I wish I could be more supportive of him and more understanding of what is going on right now. I am his wife and his better half, I feel what he feels...I love you Dad!